Too often we do not tell these very special people how much they really mean to us. We live our lives assuming that these special folks know how important they are to us. At the same time, we frequently wonder to ourselves if we are appreciated to our friends and family, or if our existence means anything to them. Children go through life complaining about their parents and pointing out about their shortcomings, and very infrequently do they sit down to tell their parents how truly grateful they are for the many sacrifices and love that were given them. I understand that this is the way most people are and I am ready to accept this until I go to a funeral or learn that someone is facing a life-threatening situation. Out of the blue, this person is ready to spill his guts to let everyone know how much this person means to him. I do not want to count the times I have witnessed a person sobbing uncontrollably at a funeral, and know for a fact, they never said a kind word to the person when the person was alive! If I gave into impulse, I would go up to them and scream in their ear, “Why didn’t you say these things when he/she could hear you!? It’s too late now! They have seen the light and split the scene!”
I have several theories as to why this happens and would be happy to share one of them with you. My idea is that the-beyond-reasonable behavior at a funeral is mainly rooted in guilt because he treated this person horribly and now is unable to repair the damage. This is so profoundly sad. Not only does the person feel horrible for his behavior, he has to spend the rest of his life knowing that he will never be able to make amends. If you are banking on the heaven scenario, you might not be in the same condo when or if you get there. Moreover, if you treated a person badly while here on earth, that might be grounds for not getting a pass through golden gates!
One facet of life that makes it so interesting is knowing that at any moment you could be out of here. You could trip down the stairs or get something stuck in your throat. Have you ever read the statistics for automobile deaths? Life is a gift to each of us. It is a second-to-second contract. There are no guarantees.
So here are my suggestions for improvement:
Treat people the way you would like them to treat you all of the time.
Tell people right away when you are thankful for something they have done for you.
Send cards a thank you card to let people know you care for them and are appreciate their goodness.
Call people you have not talked to in a while.
Say “hi” to people on the street, even if you do not know them.
I remember a scene from an old Star Trek show when Spock’s body was inhabited by an alien psychic being. The alien’s first comment was how lonely it was to be human, totally separated from peers and only able to communicate with words. I think this is an important message for all of us to ponder.
Have a good Day!