Blowing my top over tops

I just came from the bathroom, where I spent too much time frustrated by a simple safety lid on the peroxide I used to brush my teeth.  My old bottle was empty so I decided to open a new one.  After unscrewing the standard lid, I saw the all-to-familiar safety lid.  Using my very short fingernail, I attempted to tear the lid from the bottle.  After a few unsuccessful attempts, I grabbed the sharpest device I could find in the bathroom, the handle of a toothbrush and began to stab at the glued on lid with little success at first, finally breaking through the somewhat impenetrable layer to the inside of the bottle.  With this task completed, I began the arduous job of removing the left over material glued to the container opening. This prevents the liquid from scattering all over the place when poured.  This is no easy task and must be approached with caution.  After several attempts, I was able to remove most of the covering from the container.  HOLY CRAP, I just wasted five minutes of my life taking a lid off a container!  Earlier in the evening I had a similar battle with a bag of potato chips which won a partial victory in that some of the chips floated through the air landing on the floor as the bag suddenly opened.  Last week I went to war with a plastic oil container while changing the oil in my car.  The plastic containers that Costco items often come in present a whole new level of frustration brought on by the once simple task of opening a container.  Lately I have been carrying a carpet knife around in my pocket so I can easily destroy most containers.  My wife says I am going to cut my hand off eventually and she is probably right. I could go on and on but I am sure at this point, YOU GET THE POINT!  Why in the world do we need such incredible tamper proof ingenuity in everything we buy?  I might understand sealing up our food so that some crazy guy does not go into a grocery store to put razor blades in our cereal, or worst yet, our yogurt. But why do we need to super-securely seal up a car oil jug or peroxide bottle?  Maybe someone is planning on poisoning a car?  Our society has become so obsessed with keeping everyone safe that we are moving into the ludicrous zone of safety creation.

Another point of contention for me is in the area of outdoor power tools.  Starting up the riding lawn mower is akin to a space shuttle launch!  The throttle must be in the right position.  The choke must be set right.  The blade must be disengaged properly.  The brake must be engaged.  There must be a person of significant weight sitting on the seat, and then and only then, can you find out that the battery has died since the last time you used the mower.  Another pet peeve with my mower is that I cannot back up unless I hit a small yellow button.  Yes, yes, these features all make the mower somewhat safer; it is a fast-moving metal blade, cutting an outdoor surface (grass) where it might strike rocks, dog bones or numerous other objects to send them whirling at high-speed at unsuspecting bystanders.  But….if I want to back up, I believe it is my decision, and if I am stupid enough to back up without looking where I am going, then I should be the proud winner of a Darwin Award.  For those who do not know what a Darwin award is, you are in for some real entertainment when you read about how our fellow humans eliminate themselves from the gene-pool in all kinds of creative ways. (  )

This blog was brought on by winter,  my least favorite season!  The trees are dead and brown, the sky tends to be gray and overcast, the temperatures cold. Because of my aversion to cold (probably brought on by my California birth) I am stuck inside feeding a fireplace insert.  Some of you are thinking, what a pansy, and may be right when it comes to cold; I am a pansy!  Some people contend that depression may be brought on by  winter and a vitamin D deficiency, which happens predictably when one does not get enough sun.  I know I often get depressed in the throes winter.  Sometimes I go to the window when the sun shows its face and stand there basking in the its rays.  I am so much wanting spring to make its debut, in less than 20 days!  I am hoping it comes early so that the trees and wildlife can come alive even sooner.  Three cheers for spring!  In the meantime, I will continue to take out my frustrations opening lids and tops!


3 thoughts on “Blowing my top over tops

  1. Charlie,

    Maybe you should go back to low TECH with a PUSH not powered lawnmower. It only takes muscle and is the GREEN way to go. Now you must find someone that will sell you one.

    I think they went out of style back in the 1960s when we as a country were much simpler and allot GREENER. Even the lids on the packages did not have interlocks.

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