Who’s side is God on?

If I were a god, and to avoid confusion for some of my readers, I am not, I would be very upset with the abuse of my title. Despite the fact that I am not a god, I am going to make a feeble attempt at speaking for him on this matter. Imagine my voice becoming deep and thunderous.

HUMANS, I DO NOT CARE WHO WINS YOUR SPORTING EVENTS! I REALIZE YOU ENJOY THE PRETENSE OF WAGING WAR ON YOUR NEIGHBORING COMMUNITIES BUT, THIS IS YOUR GIG, NOT MINE. IF I WOULD HAVE ANY FEELINGS ABOUT THESE CONFLICTS OVER A BALL, IT WOULD BE TO TRY AND AVOID HURTING EACH OTHER.

THIS ALSO PERTAINS TO WAR. I DO NOT SANCTION YOU KILLING EACH OTHER. I MADE A SIMPLE LIST OF RULES OF WHICH ONE IS, THOU SHALT NOT KILL! THAT DOES NOT MEAN WHEN IT SUITS YOU, BUT ALL THE TIME! I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THIS PLACE I SET ASIDE FOR YOU UP HERE IS GETTING A LITTLE CROWDED FROM ALL YOUR WARS. YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT!

SOMETHING THAT REALLY CHAPS MY BUNS IS THE WAY YOU TREAT MY WORLD. I GAVE THIS PLACE TO YOU TO LIVE AND PROSPER, NOT TO PILLAGE AND DESTROY. AND THE WAY YOU TREAT LIVING THINGS ON MY WORLD IS DEPLORABLE! IF YOU BOTHERED TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAID, I SAID ALL CREATURES, BIG AND SMALL, NOT JUST THE ONES YOU THINK ARE CUTE.

LET ME TRY ONE MORE TIME. REMEMBER WHEN I SAID, TREAT ALL PEOPLE AS IF THEY WERE YOUR BROTHER (OR SISTER)? ITS THAT SIMPLE! REALLY! IF YOU LOVE YOUR FELLOW HUMAN, REGARDLESS OF THE TYPE OF TENNIS SHOES THEY WEAR, EVERYTHING WORKS OUT BETTER. SOME OF YOU TALK ABOUT ME COMING AND BRINGING THE WRATH TO YOUR WORLD, WELL, I AM NOT PLANNING ON DOING THAT, BUT YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB AT BRINGING THIS SO CALLED WRATH ONTO YOURSELVES. SO QUIT BLAMING ME FOR YOUR STUPID BEHAVIOR!

TALK LATER

GOD

There you have it, straight from the mind of God…sort of…